When I was trained as a coach 8.5 years ago, one of the things that stuck with me the most was the emphasis on helping a person see who they are “being” – that is to say, helping each individual look past the surface doings into how he/she is showing up and how that way of being is effecting their choices.
I read an article by coach and writer Danielle van de Kemenade this morning, and her words resonated with me a lot:
The biggest impact I’ve been able to make in my clients’ lives is on their states of being rather than changed acts of doing. The coaching paradigm itself is perhaps the best way of exemplifying the belief in doing as a primary method to achieving a better way of being. After each session, I’ll ask my clients to come up with five things they’ll do between our sessions to start to move towards greater personal well-being.
Fundamental to all of the above seems to be this thought: I’ll be a better, happier, more fulfilled person through more (focused) doing. I do (or have done), therefore I am. And yet, lately my views on this have started to shift, subtly.
Perhaps one of humanity’s challenges this century won’t necessarily be to do more better and faster, but to refine our ways of being and to let our actions flow from this.
On one hand you might think, “Wait, that doesn’t quite jive with what we are trying to do with small steps. Isn’t the goal to help people make tiny changes that will eventually lead to lasting health improvements and better well being?” Continue reading “On Being”
Being a yoga teacher [or a wellness coach] is similar to being a physician [i.e. one that is invested in healing, not keeping business good]: my mission is to find the origination of my clients’ problems and help my clients heal themselves, so I can send them on their way, out in the world with the ability to maintain their health, on their own.
It’s not about business or client retention or making more money than we did last year. Sure, on some level it is important to create business and have clients and keep them around long enough for everyone involved to benefit in the ways that matter. But these days, it seems that the ever important dollar gets the final say more than anything else. Pulling a profit that’s bigger than before takes priority, and we tell ourselves that if business is booming, well, we can help more people. In some ways, it’s true. We can try to keep clients coming back for as long as possible, plant the seeds of positive change, treat the disorder with a pill, and along the way help the bottom line. Everybody wins, right?
In this world we live in, money is important. You might know this already. Depending on where we live and what sort of lifestyle we are aiming for or born into, we need a certain minimum of incoming cash flow to thrive. Living on the planet comes with a price tag for most people in the modern world. So, while money is obviously important, I might dare to say that authenticity is more so. I don’t know about you, but I’m not super interested in working with someone who doesn’t really want to interact with me, or only does so out of fear or guilt or whatever other reasons people do things that they aren’t intrinsically motivated to do. People can benefit from programs and classes and 1:1 appointments, absolutely. That’s not my issue today. My issue today is that yoga and wellness coaching and health care, at the core, is about healing. It’s about honoring the process. It’s about authentic ways of being together and in the world that increase beauty and take energy away from destruction. Too often our culture has lost sight of that. Too often we hook people and try to convince them that they need us forever. Too often we become part of the message of lack. Continue reading “Returning to our Roots: Healing Healthcare”